Floccinaucinihilipilification!

Where are they now.....?

2007-02-01T19:18:00.000-05:00

Before I moved apartments (for the millionth time), I used to get my college journal. After a cursory skim through the pictures to look for familiar pages, I'd get to the best part - the Class Notes - where brief updates on many classmates and old (and sometimes forgotten) friends awaited. Who was married, who was back in school, who moved halfway around the world and who got a new job? Of course, you had to actually write in and tell the Alumni office what you were doing in order to be featured, which meant that none of my friends ever made it in there (tsk tsk).

But now that the alumni office has lost track of me, despite me sending them my new address. I no longer receive the journal, and have lost track of all those people I didn't really want to know about. How will I ever find out if that cute soccer player ever got married, or where that weird guy down the hall is now? And that annoying know-it-all from stats class..... whatever happened to her.

So we (former roommate and I) wrote our own class notes about some of our friends..... here goes.....

-S has moved to the heartlands of Alabama and has started her very own horse farm. She has discovered the intense satisfaction one can attain from hours spent cleaning and mucking out horse stalls.

-M has moved to Blue Creek, Utah and there might be wedding bells on the horizon as she vies for the position of 3rd wife to a prominent local Mormon priest.

-E has moved to Glacier Fields, Patagonia and is currently undergoing intensive survival training in preperation for the wilderness camp he will be running in the fall.

-A has discovered her calling in Fiji, where she runs a kindergarten school by day and spins for the local club by night. She invites all to join her in her tropical paradise.

-N has renounced the corporate world and found a new career in plumbing. Since it pays as much, if not more than she made before, she will happily service your pipes if you live in any of NY's boroughs.

-R is happily married with a third child on the way. He and his family have moved to a condo in Charlotte, NC where he is rapidly climbing the corporate ladder at Wachovia. He has discovered a passion for suits, and is also becoming a bit of a clothes horse.

-J is teaching English and Social Studies at a local high school in Vancouver. He spends most of his weekends fishing at one of the frozen lakes in the region as he works towards his First Aid certification.

-B operates the most frequently called American Express customer service number in India, where all female clients are patched directly to his line. In his spare time he has taken up gardening and recently won a prize for his tomatoes.

Today....

2007-01-30T09:54:00.000-05:00

"When they write my biography, you'll be in the trials and tribulations chapter"

Tagged

2006-10-18T10:24:00.000-05:00

So there's this ..... thing .... (meme?) going around, and I just got tagged by Rosh. Top 10 songs on my iPod (taking into account the fact that I recently restored my ipod and erased the 'most played' list).

1. Gomez - Shot Shot
2. Gomez - Ping One Down
3. K7 - Come Baby Come
4. The Fray - How To Save a Life
5. Ray LaMontagne - Trouble
6. Beatles - I'll Follow The Sun
7. Gomez - Getting Better
8. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - Wanna Ride
9. Guster - Happier
10. Sting - Fields of Gold (Unplugged). This just snuck up into the top 10 after Monday's Studio 60 episode.

Passing the tag on to Brand Blue Day.

In the Summertime....

2006-07-17T14:52:00.000-05:00

Summer has finally made an appearance. Despite the persistence of April showers that fell through June, summer has managed to break through for a few days here and there. Today is a steamy 90 dF. Which is supposed to make me not want to go home and veg out on the couch, but rather go for a walk, or eat dinner outside, or do SOMETHING that doesn't involve watching more TV. And yet - all I want to do is go home and watch my favorite shows.

The most frustrating part about all the above.....? THERE IS NOTHING TO WATCH ON TV! The bad part about the summer (at least before the unbearable heat and humidity usurp top spot on the bad list) is that all my favorite TV shows go on hiatus. On summer vacation, as it were. So I have to last for three months without the Eppes brothers, and the Gilmore family, and Mer-Der et al. No Amazing Race, and saddest of all - no more Josh Lyman forever. True, there are the few new shows that are pretty decent (I could watch Dule Hill in a coma), but I miss the staples.

Granted that by the time fall rolls around I will be hooked on more shows thanks to Netflix, but in the meantime.....I miss all my tv friends. Re-runs and Netflix are a sad substitute.

Goodbye Leo

2006-04-10T11:22:00.000-05:00

Leo McGarry died last night. It was a very emotional night. Had to find a box of tissues to get through it.

Heartbreakingly, it also felt like the beginning of the end. With only a month left to go, it is now sinking in that I will no longer have these characters for company. After 4 years, it's time to say goodbye. The only consolation being that they will appear elsewhere in other forms.

But not Leo. So goodbye Leo. Goodbye John Spencer.

Of visas and cattle sheds

2006-03-20T15:45:00.000-05:00

Recently returned from a whirlwind trip home that involved, among other things, a trip to the US Consulate for my brand new H1B (work visa). Over the span of one long day spent standing in many lines, there was little to relieve the unending boredom. Since neither books, nor mp3 players are allowed in the building, there really was nothing to do but stand around and maybe talk to other people. Which made the one highlight of the day particularly entertaining.
After waiting in 4 different lines, we were finally shepherded into the air-conditioned bliss of the actual consulate, where our interviews would take place. Even more blissful - there were chairs. A short while after we were seated, an American walked up to where we were sitting and proceeded to give us a series of instructions and something akin to a pep-talk. He began by introducing himself as the head of the facility, and assured us that in the wake of Bush's visit, they were now back at full staff and he could now begin making improvements to the facility. (But he was addressing a group that had just spent over 4 hours standing in the heat in what we called the cow-shed, and that were being interviewed 4 hours after their appointed time). Seeing the clear skepticism of his audience, he then went on to defend his facility. He argued that the newspapers continually berated the embassy for the long lines and long delays, but they were interviewing over 800 people a day and there were bound to be delays. He would be happy to cut down on the lines, and grant fewer interviews, but that would mean a longer wait to get an appointment. As it is, the wait for an appointment is already 4 months.
Then began the instructions and the pep-talk.
- Smile when you approach the desk.
- I have an accent, and you have an accent. But I have to interview a LOT of people. So I might not speak slowly. Listen to the question.
- Don't take it personally if you are rejected.
- Listen to the question. If I ask you how many children you have and you answer 'Computer Programmer,' you will not get your visa. If I ask you the date of your departure and you say 4 months, you might not get your visa.
His speech seemed to have the desired effect. He got his laughs and there was an audible release of tension in a room filled with it. Of course, he then moved on and the tension built again as we listened to interviews and saw people being rejected for inexplicable reasons. The only source of entertainment then becoming whispered discussions on which line you did or didn't want to be in.
Glad that's over.

White out!

2006-02-12T13:42:00.000-05:00

It's day 2 of the NY blizzard of '06. The second largest storm in NY in 60 years. Prediction - 22 inches in the city by the time it ends. Out here in Brooklyn, my roommate estimates that we're at about 18 inches already, and it's still coming down steadily. So we are holed up inside with not much to do but watch TV. My grand plan to build a snowman in the park is being obliterated by the white out. But we did get to go out in it for a little while. Took a walk to the park last night, when the snow was only a few inches thick. Played in the snow, had a bit of a snowball fight with the roommates, enjoyed being the only people out and stopped to enjoy the absolute silence (in the brief moments between sirens and cars). But then we were back inside and here we shall stay until it is time to return to work tomorrow.
So yesterday was cheesy movie day. Started with Just Like Heaven, followed by Elizabethtown, interspersed with cookies, and a fabulous dinner. Today is Buffy marathon day with Red Eye as backup. Not to mention all the good Sunday night TV to come.

First lines of books

2006-01-31T12:39:00.000-05:00

Catching up on some blog reading today, came across a list of 100 good first lines from books. It has been pointed out on one blog that the list is based on the books rather than the lines themselves, and on another blog, the writer added some of his favorites. So read all the lists and come up with your own.

Here are some of my additions:
-'Christmas isn't Christmas without any presents,' grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. - Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

- The great fish moved silently through the night water, propelled by short sweeps of its crescent tail. - Jaws, Peter Benchley

- Serene was a word you could put to Brooklyn, New York. - A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith

- Once upon a time there was a Martian named Valentine Michael Smith. - Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein

- The beet is the most intense of vegetables. - Jitterbug Perfume, Tom Robbins

- Who is John Galt? - Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand

2006-01-16T13:27:00.000-05:00

Slackers Unite….Tomorrow!

My brother gave me a T-shirt with those words on it. I love it! I still have it and pull it out on occasion for particularly lazy days. Now those days are few and far between and I am struggling with accepting that.
Six years in college made me lazy. Well, I should say they made me lazier. I’ve always been the slacker, the procrastinator, the person to distract everyone else from studying. Neither college nor grad school taxed me too much and two years of lazy days and evening classes in grad school spoiled me more that I could have imagined. I have now been in the working world, the ‘real world’ for 6 months, and I’m ready to be a full time student again.
After the novelty of having a real job and a steady income wore off, as my work weeks got longer and longer and continue to lengthen, I now find myself in the unpleasant mindset that looks at weekends as a recovery period from a stressful week. All I want to do on a weekend is sleep all day. When I don’t get to sleep as much as I want, I get cranky and irritable. I find myself less and less inclined to go out and meet up with friends anymore. Which bothers me. Granted, some of my closest friends are no longer in the city, but there are plenty of others that I don’t get to see nearly enough. It worries me when it takes 6 phone calls for me to find the urge to meet up with a good friend who I used to see at least once a week. I want to be a slacker again. I want to take naps in the middle of the day, go for movies at midnight and see people whenever I want to. Sigh.

Etiquette

2005-10-11T08:10:00.000-05:00

Where do we get our sense of social courtesy? Is it learned behavior? Is it instinctive, subconscious? How are we socialized to know and understand the rules of the society we live in? We all conform in one way or another to expected behavior. We learn the etiquette of interacting with each other and what is allowed and what isn't. We know where to draw the line with strangers and we learn how far we can go with friends.
So what happens when someone breaks the rules? Where does the indignation and anger come from when we encounter an individual who seems to have no sense of the basics of common courtesy? There seems to be a disrespect inherent in actions that do not fit the rules, or behavior that deviates from that basic social courtesy we expect from each other. Is it an overreaction to ostracize the individual? Are second chances allowed after an extreme breach of conduct? Do we allow someone back with no guarantee that the same thing, or something worse won't happen? After all - aren't we the only ones to blame if it does?

Saturation point

2005-09-12T08:30:00.000-05:00

Last night my two roommates and I sat around and wondered what to do. We had had the TV on for most of the day, watching either tennis, a recording of MTV's Katrina relief concert or various TV shows on DVD. Around 9pm we all felt that we had watched enough TV and needed something else to do. But what? I had spent part of the day reading, and wasn't too inclined to return to my book, we had all taken walks at various points and didn't feel the urge to venture out again and had caught up with each other on the previous night and any other news we wanted to share. So we found ourselves at a complete loss. What to do when the TV is turned off? We halfheartedly attempted to read out Trivial Pursuit questions to each other, which lasted less than 5 minutes, returned to the topic of recent crushes, made dinner and then, lacking any other ideas or creative suggestions - returned to the TV. Why is it that we are surrounded by screens all the time - be it the TV or the computer - but when we want out, we are lost without them? Why can't we find other forms of entertainment? What has happened to us?
I ended up finishing my book - more in protest against the TV than out of any urge to finish the book. I almost regretted having cleaned my room the previous day, since that would have given me something to do.

2005-09-08T14:48:00.000-05:00

All is well...

2005-09-08T14:29:00.000-05:00

All is well in my world. I have an apartment, two great roommates, wireless internet, cable TV (just in time to watch the US Open and all the season premieres of our favorite shows) and a job that is growing faster than I had anticipated and morphing into something quite interesting. Not to mention opera tickets for tonight.

Life is good. If anyone hears me complaining about anything - feel free to smack me upside the head.

Brokers

2005-09-03T11:48:00.000-05:00

Finally - today marks day 6 in our brand new apartment. Whew. I was beginning to think it would never happen. But suddenly, in the space of a few days, we found the perfect apartment and signed the lease within 48 hours.
For months I listened to stories from friends who were apartment hunting, stories that ranged from total horror to a sealed deal in less than a week. Opinions about finding an apartment in New York similarly ranged from it being a breeze, to 'start looking 2 months in advance'. Through it all, the idea of using a broker never appealed to me, especially with a broker fee invariably attached. Yet, as we actually started the apartment hunt we discovered that Craigslist - the bastion of non-broker apartments - was now littered with broker postings. For the areas we were interested in, finding a non-broker posting proved to be practically impossible. So when we found the posting that sounded too good to be true, we swallowed the bitter pill of seeing an apartment from a broker and let it happen. As it turned out the apartment was in fact EXACTLY what we were looking for, and by the end of the following day we had signed the lease and paid enough in fees and security deposits to ensure a diet of cereal for the next month. But - the saga wasn't over, and I have waited until it was signed, sealed and delivered before posting this - because, at the end of the day, I had to try and capture the caricature our broker turned out to be and the farce that was the process of actually getting the keys to the apartment. My roommate was first showed the apartment by what sounded like a nice man, retired, working part time at the brokers. It wasn't until later that day, when the details about putting down the deposit for the apartment and putting together all the paperwork started that I started to realize the horror it was going to be. It was at that point that the nice man stopped being our primary contact at the agency and She-Devil took over. The broker who ran the place was out of town, and her daughter was running the show in her absence. After several hours of phone calls coordinating all the paperwork they required and sorting through the very contradictory instructions we were given, we showed up at the office anticipating signing the lease and being out of there in less than 30 mins. The first sign that all would not go well was the sight of the daughter sitting amidst piles of paper trying to sort out our credit checks. We tactfully pointed out that all the paperwork was numbered which should make the sorting easier, which resulted in a litany about how organized we were and how incompetent everyone else was and how this wasn't her job and she had her stomach stitched a while ago and lost so much weight, and bought this amazing ring and oh-by-the-way you have to sign some papers. An hour and a half later, we left in exhaustion, after witnessing a fight between her and her husband, learning that her husband had failed his broker test, and lots of snippy comments from the other guy that worked there.
But we had signed a lease and handed over out bank accounts. We anticipated smooth sailing after that (not having learned a thing), and instead endured two weeks of phone calls to organize the apartment being painted prior to our arrival. But of course, on the day we moved - nothing had been painted and we walked into the same multi-colored apartment we had first seen. Of course the painters showed up after we arrived, and of course we didn't have mailbox keys and of course there were all kinds of other problems, but we now knew to expect it all. But - it has been two weeks and we have settled in. All is well - as long as I NEVER have to see or hear from the brokers again. I am never moving out of this apartment - ever!

Reading, etc.

2005-08-14T12:39:00.000-05:00

For the first time in a long time, I am utterly bereft of all media outlets. My two primary sources of time-pass have been stripped away. Without the TV and the internet – the evenings and weekends crawl by. I am forced to read far more than I ever have before, with a book being a necessity rather than a choice. Not that I am complaining too much about having to read…I actually get to knock off several books I have been meaning to get to. Yet, the delicious pleasure of turning off all contact with the external world to curl up with a book isn’t quite the same when I am cut off to begin with and have to resort to the book. Reading, for the past few years, was always a source of procrastination, an activity made all the more sweeter by the knowledge that there was homework to do and required reading that was being avoided. I used to wish that I had more time to read as there were ALL these books I wanted to read. But now that I can actually spend all evening reading with no other way to entertain myself - I don't know whether I like it or not.

I have now given up on the idea of internet rehab and finally got myself some internet time by hauling Adrian (my baby laptop) to Starbucks (evil establishment with wonderful air-conditioning and high speed wireless). Anyway the reason for all this whining is that I am house sitting for some friends for a couple of weeks. By ‘house sitting’ I also mean taking advantage of a place to stay while I figure out housing. After two months of ‘couch surfing’ I am ready for a bed that I can call my own for more than a couple of weeks. But the realities of finding a place in the big bad city are harsher than they seem. Especially when I can’t seem to decide what I am looking for and what I can afford. All fingers crossed – September 1st is the current deadline.

I would pop in a work update at this point, but the three friends that I have who actually read this already know what is going on at work and how well it has all turned out.
So – see you all again when I have a home and internet again.

Word for the weekend – Jeez Louise (in as southern an accent as possible).

Back to Hogwarts.

2005-07-16T14:57:00.000-05:00

Well - the trip back to Hogwarts is over. I was one of the 6.9 million people in the US that bought the new Harry Potter in the first 24 hours. Actually, I had mine in the first 10 minutes. I was number 119 at Borders in midtown Manhattan at midnight as July 15th rolled into the 16th and the book officially released. Amid the festive air that filled the bookstore with Harry Potter trivia questions being thrown around, lightning tattoos and Every Flavor jelly beans (such as dirt, bacon, earwax and vomit), we waited impatiently for books we had pre-ordered over a month in advance.

It ended up being a 6 hour read that alternated between being very tense and laugh-out loud funny. It's almost sad now that it's over after such a long, highly-anticipated wait. I feel like I should have some opinion on being one of the millions that subscribe to such commercialism, or some criticism or self-reflection that I bought my book from the first publisher to refuse the campaign to print the books on recycled paper. But at the end of the day - the trip back to Hogwarts was too much fun to turn away from. Now to wait the next movie releases in November.

Homesick

2005-07-07T20:32:00.000-05:00

For the first time in years, I find myself experiencing the not-so-pleasant sensation of being truly homesick. I just finished reading a book called 'The Red Carpet: Stories from Bangalore' that painted a picture of the city I know (knew?). It seemed to capture so perfectly some of the experiences I had and many of the people I knew there that I was torn between the desire to take the book to every friend I have made here and say 'Here - THIS was what my life was like.' and with the feeling that they would read all the wrong things, wouldn't understand what I wanted them to, wouldn't see me in the book and in some essential way, know me better. I'm still torn, debating whether to hold on the hope that those of my friends who might actually be interested in reading the book will find what I did, while logic seems to indicate that they couldn't.

What was almost more interesting was finishing the book on the same day I faced the possibility of being here indefinitely. The same day that that job back home disappeared, the same day I said very glibly 'Oh I'm almost never homesick' and then quoted my parents, according to whom my philosophy in life is 'If I'm not near the one's I love, then I'll love the ones I'm near.' Mere hours later, I find myself reminiscing about 5 rupee pooris from the school canteen, sing-alongs with songs like Sounds of Silence, Marianne and Jamaican Farewell, the latest drama with the latest maid and oddly enough, the energetic chaos of Bangalore traffic. I'm restless now - listening to the miscellaneous Hindi music I have or the songs I grew up with don't seem to be doing much either way. How to deal with homesickness, especially when it's a foreign sensation?

Help! I'm sinking.

2005-07-05T19:54:00.000-05:00

The real world has got me firmly in its clutches now. There is no escape. Life as I know it is officially over.

Today was my first day at work. As first days go it was pretty uneventful. Got my ID, my cubicle and my new boss. I am on a borrowed computer with a borrowed password, until my sweet new laptop is delivered. That was the most exciting part of the day - the information that I, unlike most people, would be getting a laptop. The actual reason for it isn't quite as exciting, but we're focusing on the new toy, not its reasons for being.

Anyway, met lots of new people - ALL of whom were my height or shorter than me (also exciting), and not a single male in the lot, which was quite strange. Everyone seems really nice, but there is rumor that the big boss is somewhat of a tyrant so I look forward to that meeting.

Tomorrow I get actual work to do. Sigh!

Coming Soon

2005-06-30T22:30:00.000-05:00

When you go for a job interview - I think it's a good idea to ask if they press charges.

Balancing Between Worlds

2005-06-30T16:30:00.000-05:00

Just moved out of the room that I have lived in for the last two years. Since leaving home, it is the longest that I have stayed in any one place, as evidenced by the mountain of belongings that had to be moved. But I am now officially a nomad. For the next month I will be living in a friend's room, sharing a bathroom with several other people and surviving out of a suitcase. After two years of living in a dorm, it now finally feels like it. Unlike my previous room which was a very self-contained studio, where I could go for days without seeing anyone.

So now I find myself in between worlds. In four days I will enter the dreaded 'real world' with a daily 9-5 schedule that I have always abhorred. No longer can I play at night, crawling into bed at 2 or 3 am and dragging myself out to face the next day at noon. No more going for a drink at midnight on a Tuesday or Wednesday, or a midnight movie on opening night in the middle of the week. I will lose the opportunity to go to malls on a weekday morning, taking advantange of deserted stores and empty fitting rooms, without having to elbow people out of the way to get to the clothes I want. Now I will be part of the city's routine, scrambling to get place on the subway during rush hour, trying to squeeze in errands and chores between getting out of work and when everything closes, shopping and partying on weekends with the rest of the masses. Sigh.

Yet, I had always anticipated that the start of my work life would also coincide with getting an apartment and being somewhat settled. But instead, I will be living out of a suitcase, being a nomad by night and a professional by day. Almost feels like I will be assuming different identities when I leave for work and when I return. Living a double life of a college student and corporate employee. Might prove tricky. Especially when I will have to refuse to join my friends for a mid-week night on the town.

All About TC

2005-06-30T01:10:00.000-05:00

Since the creation of this blog will mean the abandonment of the 'More Ramblings' blog - here are the highlights from it. Most of you coming here will have already read all of these, so you can skip this whole section.... But wait, there isn't much else to read - yet. Stay posted.

The Puppy and the Prima Donna
And so starts the chronicle of a new life and new friends. It has been about eight months since I took the plunge into the big bad city, terrified of being unable to make friends and of dying from temperatures guaranteed to signal the new ice age. My first real winter has drawn to a close, chased away by unfailing optimism and a sun that is slowly recovering from being ‘broken.’ Through the warm April showers that drench our journey into May, comes the time of reflection, of looking back at the good times and the bad, at the sitcom of our lives today. Somewhere in the last four months, I was forced to grow up and take things a little more seriously. But that doesn’t stop the laughter and silliness that characterizes the relationships here, the same as they did with the people before. And so, I try to give you snapshots of each of the people who have touched my lives here and who have pulled me through possibly the worst time of my life. As usual, alphabetical order is best, although names shall be kept out. First comes the strongest shoulder and the steadiest presence. Also the person I know the least, yet possibly fear the most. Yes, he intimidates me – always has and always will. With a hair trigger temper and the same streak of madness that inhabits one of his roommates, he also comes with the best hugs and a comforting presence that is unmatched. Both detached and involved in the group, I never realized how much he was a part of my life until he left for two weeks and we all missed him unbearably. A part of the group was missing, and he brought back some life with him. From 3am conversations, to soup when I was ill and ice cream when my computer died, I can’t come close to imagining this group without him. Next comes the Prima Donna – lifted straight out of some soap opera. Tall and beautiful, obsessed with clothes, shoes and makeup, yet very intelligent – it’s enough to make you throw up and curse the unfairness of it all. Yet, she comes with generosity and loyalty, she will wake up after three hours of sleep to come hold your hand when your world tilts, will look for every way to make things better – unless of course there is a TV show to watch :-). Then comes the puppy – although I might have to edit that title out before he reads it. Hyper, funny, horrendously smart, a wiseass and a good friend – he is the freak show of the group. Any day could find him either so hyper that its like talking to a 5-year old on crack, or can find him reflective and introspective. With a great music collection and a voracious appetite for books, he is also a great hand-holder and conversationalist. And I keep going back for more of the freak show, despite being the person who is supposed to quell the freakiness. And finally – well, the label on this one has changed many times over the last eight months. From being ‘one of the boys,’ to a partner in crime, to a great friend, to being purely entertaining, this is the person who I look forward to seeing the most. If more than two days pass without a word or a visit, things seem incomplete. Stories are saved up to be shared, complaints are traded and yes, he is the only other person who can come close to understanding my geeky obsession with my computer. There is also the shared evilness that is necessary in my close friends – nice people are just so boring. The puzzle here is his need to keep parts of his life separate, don’t quite understand that. That brings his new label - the mundane mystery man.There are many other people that come in and out of my life on a daily basis, who matter, whom I care about – but these are the people that touch my life every day, without whom I might not have made it through this year. So they shall feature in the soap opera of my life in New York.

Two More
Having been reminded of the omission of two people from the ‘first episode,’ it is time to rectify that mistake and introduce more of the characters in the drama of TC. Their previous omission and this later introduction does not make them secondary characters in our endless saga – rather they are just later additions to the inner circle (for a discourse on circles of friendship – refer my other blog). Unfortunately for these two – the labels don’t come as easily. While the best labels come from first impressions, that doesn’t work as well here. So one shall be called the wiseass and the other… well I don’t know yet. Still working on that one. Well, lets start with the latter and maybe the label will evolve out of her description. First impressions – rude. But we got over that quickly enough. Well ok, we can now magnanimously admit that it was an inaccurate first impression, and she maybe isn’t rude ;). A friendship that has gradually developed over the last few months, I gnash my teeth at the guy I introduced her to, who now monopolizes her. Well not all the time, but its fun to blame him. Anyway, she has this cut crystal way of talking that stands out the most in my mind – quick and precise, every syllable perfectly enunciated but so quickly that you are left with an impression of sharply defined sentences. Which is paradoxical when compared with the hint of a southern accent that appears when least expected. She can be hysterically funny, appears to be practical to a fault, and best of all – is blissfully drama-free. She has become a surprisingly good friend and I miss the weekly lunches (that never quite became the norm, but came close). Hmmm…still no label. She might actually escape that – dammit!Now for the wiseass. She is hysterical. Really, that should be all I need to say about her and it would encapsulate almost everything…almost. Despite the laughter guarantee that comes with her, she is also a great friend. I’ve lost track of the number of late night conversations over the last couple of months, and for the life of me I can’t remember what most of them were about. Family? Friends? Movies, books, music? That god-awful medically related conversation that has since been repressed? All that and much more. She has become a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, a ear to complain into and …. oh yeah and the laughter guarantee. The last few months could have been pretty unbearable without her. :)And so, maybe the introductions are over now and we can move into the stories. Except for the fact that that involves actually writing them. Maybe I should actually focus on all those papers that are due next week instead

The Table that used to be….
Scene – Light wood square table that sits in the ‘dining area’ of a dorm suite. Kitchen to one side, hallway leading to bedrooms to the other. Walls on the remaining two sides – one with a mildly tattered map of the United States, the other with a poster of a Japanese painting from the Met. Harsh white lighting overheard. Tile floors. Day 1: End of orientation at graduate school. At the hall meeting that followed, the four of us met and eventually ended up around the table, setting the stage for many, many evenings at the same place. Who knew that that table would become the center of all our lives? Many many memories of the last year feature that table. - Sitting around it one Saturday night and playing taboo instead of going out. If I remember right, it was too cold to go out. - Eating the oddest collection of food. Everything from potato bread and apricot jam, to octopus (?), feta and some sort of olives spread. - Endless conversations- Being shushed in the middle of the night by irate suitemates. - Beer (yuck)- The most sinful chocolate cake with a raspberry filling and chocolate frosting- A party- More conversations- More beer (yeach!) - Pizza from across the street. - Recovering at 4am from too much drinking. Trying not to giggle and wake up the aforementioned irate suitemates. - Chocolate on the table, donated by some kind soul. - Card games- Pre-partying (many nights) before going out on the town. Sometimes the pre-partying ended up being more fun.
- Many more that have momentarily slipped my mind, and hopefully many more to come. Over time, small changes have occurred. A poster of LOTR torn from a bus stop has been taped above the Japanese art, and the map has gotten more tattered and now sports some writing as people have marked the towns they are from that the map has omitted. But the biggest changes have happened in the last few months. As some of the suitemates moved out – the center of the action moved into one of the empty rooms, temporarily converted into a living room of sorts. In the recently neglected common area, the table has been moved aside as new acquisitions have filled the space. A couch, a couple of chairs, and a rolled up rug (?). Yet, while the physical space has changed, not much else has. And whenever I get nostalgic for that table – I stop and realize that the living room is far more comfortable, and even in the common area - the couch beats the table any day. :-)

Beginnings
A new year, a new schedule and the prevalence of a sort of chaos leaves little time to reflect on what was, and what now is. Midterms are almost over and everything still seems a little unsettled. The new dynamics haven’t settled down yet, and on my part at least – there really hasn’t been much of a routine. But its been more than a year since we all moved to the big bad city – so there is plenty of material to think about.The best place to start is at the beginning, with the first meeting and the first friends. This is probably the third time I am sitting down to write this particular story, each previous attempt getting derailed by the second paragraph. I don’t know why I feel that without this first story, the narrative cannot continue. So rather than analyze that – lets go back about 14 months. The first couple of days here were spent in a bit of a daze, with every new person being scrutinized as a possible friend. At the end of day three, there was a hall meeting at which the four of us met, starting a group that was to expand over the next year. We moved from the hall meeting up to the table that became the center of our activities. Looking back now, I remember being excited about the idea that three other people from my hall were also in my program. Yet, I also remembered being somewhat bored and leaving within an hour. Somehow, despite my lack of enthusiasm, we all went on to be friends. There have been a few times since when we have reflected on that first meeting, and the dynamics that were to determine some of our interactions for the next few months. Two of the four, immediately stood out as the extroverts while the other two seemed more content to sit back and watch. That dynamic slowly changed over time – I can’t speak for everyone, but over time I warmed up to some of the more outgoing members and through a gradual process of familiarization reached a point where I stopped comparing every dynamic of the new group with friendships from before. I always think it’s odd that I can usually always remember the very first time I met someone, especially someone who then went on to be a good friend. Yet, the period of time between that first meeting, and the time when that person has become that good friend always seems a little hazy. If I try and think very hard about it – I remember moments after that first meeting where we all were hanging out, or going out – but the timeline is somewhat blurred. I don’t know what it was that resulted in the friendships that we have developed today. I remember a concert in the Park, making pancakes one morning (or was it closer to lunch), a couple of phone calls, the realization that I needed these three people on speed dial on my phone, and many many nights out. But somewhere along the way it became more than a group of four, and developed into individual friendships that transcended the group. And so it began. This was the group that became the center of my life for the first 6 months or so. Everything I did was with at least one or more members of that core group. Yet, as time passed more members were added to the group. We met new people, made new friends and expanded our borders. The people I see the most today might not be the same three people, but there is a sense of comfort that comes from the idea that the core still exists in some form. That form might have warped significantly, but it remains. And it is still – just down the hall.

Hanging Out
So I was just watching 'That 70's Show' and the theme song just seemed so appropriate for the many many many nights we have just...hung out.
Hanging out
Down the street (hall)
Same old thing
We did last week
Not a thing to do
But talk to you
We're all alright
We're all alright

Does this ring any bells for anyone else? Does this not sound like our life - most evenings? :)

Parties
Does a bunch of people going to a bar count as a party? I don’t think so. But then again – living in the big bad city means that more often that not, we are at a bar rather than at anyone’s house. People don’t throw parties the way they did in college, at least not if you live in a city. Most of my social memories of college are from some party or the other, either at a frat or at an apartment. Since we didn't live ina city, we didn't really have much of a choice if we wanted to party. But here – the choices are limitless, which is what makes those few parties so unforgettable. That and all those other things that happened ;-). So we shall focus this 'episode' on just the parties and the leave the numerous bar stories for another day. Most of the parties were thrown by the boys. Which usually meant lots of people (girls), lots of alcohol and lots of pictures. I remember some dancing at the first party, but after someone spilt their drink all down my back, I gave that up. There was the funky outfits, the headdress and the beer funnel (?), and of course, my speakers (I was so proud). There are many pictures from that party and many stories to be told. Not all qualify as dirt but some of those events are so distant now, that it almost seems questionable to bring it all up again. Almost. So – lets see. What did happen? Well…there was some action that happened. One such piece of action gave some of us a code word and a joke about gummy bears that still comes up every now and then. Another caused a little grief, but it ended up being small and fleeting, thankfully. And then there was the chance of action that was cut short by an episode of hurling. Yucky! But that was the party number one. The second party was somewhat tamer. Partly because it wasn’t in the suite, but in a more common area (thanks to losers who complained about the noise from the first one). I wasn’t in much of a mood to party for the second one, but I did enjoy the little time I spent there. The rest of it was spent in conversations just outside the party area. But my speakers did do very well again. :-) Did meet some interesting people that night – friends of the host. But no real dirt. Well none that shall be revealed anyway. That brings us to party number three. Was there dirt? Hmmm…odd – the most recent party, and the one I don’t really remember. Maybe because of all those shots on no dinner. Yeah – that would do it. I remember hanging out with some friends I had invited. I remember lots of hats floating around, the ‘I only sleep with democrats’ pin, my speakers (oh so proud), and some partially blurry conversations. Dirt??? Hmmm – maybe I should have left this particular episode till we graduated. Then all might be revealed. There was also this one night were there was lots of drinking and hanging out and singing and dancing on chairs. That was more of a pre-party (for a birthday), since it all got moved to a bar, but if I remember right the pre-party lasted over an hour. So I think that counts. I’m also voting to add that night in due to the certain events that resulted in our first (?) bonafide couple. Yeah definitely counts. So those are the parties that count – till today. There are more to come and I have no doubt that there will be more stories to tell by the end of the year. Can’t wait!

Wha….?
So after three conversations about friendship in the last week, I have been prompted to return to this – my neglected chronicle of life in grad school. Where did I leave off? What haven’t I told you about. So much….sigh. But be happy that none of my stories will follow along the lines of Tucker Max. At least, not the ones I choose to tell you about ;) But there haven’t been any real stories to talk about. Either that, or there is a lot going on that I don’t know about. Chances are high it’s the latter, but on that final day of reckoning, when all the dirt shall be revealed – well there probably won’t be much to tell. Especially with certain people snooping and finding things out before they should. :-) But we are drawing close to the end of our time here, in the sanctuary that college continues to be. The big bad world is beckoning. Some of us have already answered the call and moved on to those great jobs and the new apartments. Others are still trying to figure out what’s calling, and some of us (including me) are desperately avoiding the inevitable. One of us has chosen to stay in school (coward ;)) and beat off the real world indefinitely. But it is time to accept that the time is coming when we will disperse and be scattered to different corners of the country or even the globe. The question is, and continues to be, how much will that change the relationships and friendships that started here. Will we continue to turn to each other? Will our jokes still be funny? Will we stay in touch or be reduced to polite emails once a month? I like to think that time doesn’t matter (yes that philosophy is doing a lot of damage to my life and job search), and that no matter the distance that separates us, and the time that will elapse before we meet again – things will stay roughly the same. I will still expect to see the same goofiness that characterizes some of my friends, the introspection, dedication, self-absorption (?), humor and honesty that characterizes others. Yes, I might be disappointed, but after two years out of undergrad, I am happy to say that little has changed. So I will hope that this set of friends and these bonds will remain unbreakable.

You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello
Today I said goodbye to a friend. She is the first to go, to leave the big bad city for the sanctuary of another city. It seems to truly mark the beginning of the end. But, too much of what we talk about these days is about what is going to happen ‘after.’ Where are we going to be? Who has what job? What will happen in a little over two months. So despite the fact that her departure has prompted a rare moment of introspection, I would rather fill in some gaps about people here, rather than dwell on what will be. There are two more people who need to be mentioned as much of what I do these days tends to be with one of these two (or both). One of them – you might already know. One of my best friends in college, she continues to remain so even after moving here a year after I did. While it sometimes feels like the two of us are executing a carefully choreographed dance around each other, at other times the friendship seems so seamless that no amount of time or distance could change any part of it. It also seems to be a friendship that has grown more comfortable with new locations and situations – and with the certainty that nothing changes. A weeklong road trip with her might have been cause for some trepidation two years ago, but now is something to look forward to. Yes, there is still so much I don’t understand about her, and so much that I am astonished about on an almost weekly basis...although much of that revolves around nerves or insecurities that I can't bring myself to understand. But oh well - if I can't understand after six years, I might as well give up already. The other person is new – or relatively so. She started as a co-worker and became a friend. A shared passion for West Wing and the Beatles is only the tip of what could be an almost scary level of similarity. Random conversations about TV shows, childhood memories and Christmas presents all reveal strange coincidences in experiences, likes and dislikes that were developed at opposite ends of the world. She is funny, straightforward, sometimes shy, always dependable and easily convinced to procrastinate with me. Very nice :) Especially as she could be a potential roommate after we graduate.

New York, NY
Tonight was one of those quintessential NY nights. Not quintessential in the poor, grad student sense of the word (which would probably involve a couple of beers at a local bar, other nefarious substances, and a $3 movie at the student union), but one of those cultural New Yorky nights that happen rarely, but make me feel that I actually am doing the kinds of things one should be doing in New York. And the best part of the night - it was CHEAP!Started off the night by leaving class early (always fun), and then getting all dolled up (sometimes fun), and then going to the opera! Yes - don't rub your eyes, and stop gaping - I actually went to the opera! Before you are done gaping, I should probably throw in the fact that I also enjoyed it. My former boss and friend who now works for NYCO, got us a couple of comps to La Fanciulla del West (The Girl of the Golden West) by Puccini. As she put it, the two biggest pluses for this particular opera is that it is in Italian and under three hours long. It was also cheesy without being melodramatic - also a plus. But, the sheer entertainment value came out of the fact that it was a Western about cowboys and gold miners in California - and they were singing Italian. The incongruity between the cowboy hats and the Italian arias was particularly striking right at the end when they lament having to leave California - in Italian. But, all jokes aside - it was fun! I felt all civilized and cultured, like 'a real person with a real job' as my friend put it. The night didn't end there. Since we were all dressed up and the night was still young, we decided to go to Cafe Lalo. For those of you that have never heard of it, one of the scenes from 'You've Got Mail' was filmed there (the scene where they are to meet for the first time and he sees who she is and then doesn't tell her who he is, but makes her night miserable instead :-)). Anyway - it has also some great desserts, so after some Crème Brulee - it officially was a great New York night. But then the chariot turned into a pumpkin and we had to wait for over 20 mins for the subway. Now, back in PJ's, in the poor grad student dorm room, all I have is a ticket stub to remind me of the pretty NY night. :)

Floccinaucinihilipilification!

2005-06-30T00:46:00.000-05:00

-Do you think I may be too quick to find fault with things and people?
-Yeh.
-Th' 'floccinaucinihilipilification' process.
-Th' what?
-Floccinaucinihilipilification!! It means 'the estimation of something as valueless'!
-You've been randomly reading th' dictionary, haven't you?
-Yes. That and my natural tendency toward antifloccinaucinihilipilification!!

From 'Zippy', published March 14, 1996